My husband and I got married in June, 2012. We then bought our first home together, and conceived our son that November. I had always been terrified of not being able to have children, as they have always been my greatest desire. My main goal in life. I just knew I wanted to have children young. I was 21 when our son was conceived and born, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. When we got married, a child wasn’t on our list right away, or so I thought. All of a sudden I literally woke up one morning and BAM! My heart ached hard for a child! I couldn’t stop staring at all the babies around me. Everywhere we went, ads, billboards, strollers, commercials, tv shows, other mamas, the whole 9 yards! So of course I went to my hubby about it and he understood of course. But he was also terrified. Becoming a parent is a HUGE deal, it’s a lot to take on. Could we afford to have a child? Could we afford for me to stay home? Clothes, shoes, diapers, school, car seats, strollers, staying up all night, poopy diapers… I wanted it all. There was even a point where my heart yearned so bad that I purchased a bottle of baby shampoo just to smell. I mean who doesn’t love the smell of a baby?! Then it hit even harder. I was making a late night snack before my husband got home, and I collapsed on the kitchen floor in tears. I couldn’t help it. I was so emotional and I couldn’t keep the tears back. My clock was ticking and it was about to explode. I would look at my husband and my heart would swell with the thought of him being a father. Seeing him and his child out back together. Riding dirtbikes. Playing on the floor. Snuggling. Reading a book before bed time. After that my dear husband saw how much this was affecting me and he hurt for me, so of course we began trying. We tried 1 time and conceived successfully a son.
I absolutely love, love, love, being pregnant. I didn’t have any complications my whole pregnancy. I was on cloud 9, and I had never felt so beautiful in my entire life!
Our sons due date was the middle of August, he came at exactly 40weeks & 1day. We opted to be induced because of my small stature, he was beginning to kill my hips. It was getting a bit painful to walk, sleep, drive, and we were just ready for his arrival. We got to the hospital at 6:30am. They began my pitocin drip at 8am. He was born at 9:55pm. During my labor, I had absolutely no pain whatsoever. Yeah! It’s true! I was all smiles even at 10cm! The whole time my nurse kept telling me that if I was going to get the epidural I had to wait till I went through a bag and a half of fluids. By that time I was 9cm, and almost getting ready to push. I didn’t think I needed it, but my nurse insisted so I wouldn’t feel the pushing, or the pain from a possible episiotomy. Well I will say, the epidural was the worst decision I had ever made! Not to scare a lot of other mamas who read this, as this is apparently common, but my epidural did more harm than help me! My anithesiologist didn’t perform the procedure correctly and I ended up with a spinal fluid leak, and nerve damage to my left leg. I had the worst headache of my life, for the first 6 days of my babies life. I couldn’t even change his first diaper at home. It broke my heart. On top of that, the epidural didn’t work anyways and I felt 100% of the birth. But I will tell you, since I didn’t know, your doctor will give you a shot down there if you need an episiotomy! I wish I had known that before hand, cause I wouldn’t have gotten the epidural. So this time around, I will def not be getting the epidural. It’s not worth it to me. The headache afterwards was way, way more painful than giving birth.
The thing I miss most about the whole experience is when you finally push your baby out and they lay him/her right on your chest. Once you have your baby in your arms, immediately all that pain, exhaustion, worry, all just melts away and you completely forget what the pain felt like. Nothing matters, except your little fresh baby! He was born at a whopping 8lbs 2oz, and 22inches long. Our big, handsome little man!
Thinking back about our sons birth makes me that much more excited for our little girl. What’s even more amazing is they have the same due date!! How wonderful is that?! God has impeccable timing!!