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Somewhere over the rainbow 

Its never easy when you lose a loved one. Especially one who you were extremely close  to. Today God called my gorgeous, beloved Mamaw home with him, and Heaven gained another angel. Though it brings me great sorrow that she is gone, I am also at peace knowing that she is no longer suffering and she can now be free. Free like the butterflies which where her favorite. Free from the doctors, free from the pain. Its hard for me to feel sad because I don’t  want to mourn her death; I would rather celebate her life. Her life was worth celebrating as she lived a very full, and fun one. She was the kind of woman who never forgot a birthday. every single year there was always a birthday card in the mailbox from her. She never missed a major holiday greeting card. 

She was a beloved mother of 4 beautiful children who all have children of  their own. She was an amazing grandmother to 12 beautiful grandchildren and 2 adorable great grand babies. She loved all of us more than life itsself. Her family was her greatest accomplishments.  She always put all of us before herself. She was always there when we needed her. Whatver it was, she was right there. On the weekends you could find her doing her laundry just singing and dancing away to Elvis; he was her favorite. If she wasn’t doing house work on the weekends then she was hanging out with her family. She was the kind of woman who always kept our family together, and helped us to see the true value of what family really is. She had a laugh that just made you want to laugh with her. You know, the powerful kind where you could tell it was genuine that flowed from the heart and belly. If you were in a sepparate room and heard her laugh you would know it was hers. Her eyes a bright blue that just glistened. They were like a steady ocean, I would just stare into them and admire them. They were always one of my favorite physical features about her, next to her hair. In the last few weeks of her life I would just run my fingers through her hair. Memorizing the texture, the softness. The little curls that had grown back. She had naturally ash blonde-ish brown hair; half wavy half curly but always perfect. On thursday evenigs she would always be at BINGO. BINGO was her time to get out and just have fun. She absolutely admired going. If she had missed a night at BINGO her week just wasn’t the same. I found it quite adorable. 

When I was younger I would spend the night with her every Friday night. We would just hang out and watch our TV shows and just spend quality time together eating our TV dinners. Often times we would play go fish or Uno or just sit on the floor and color. She would always tell me, “my brother tought me how to color. You just go in circles like this, that way you don’t go out of the lines.” She absolutely admired all her siblings. She always had such wonderful stories about each of them. During the day we always had our breakfast at McDonald’s then Wendy’s for lunch. we were suckers for their cheese fries! 

One of our most fond memories of many was the night, her, my mother and I were laying in bed, and Mamaw began singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow to me. I joined in and yelled “some where!!!!” then went back to normal, “over the rainbow.” Mamaw and my mother just busted out laughing cause they didn’t expect me to jump right into the song the way I did. Mamaw always made time for her and I to hang out. When I was younger and  working with my dad she would call the store just to see if I could grab lunch with her. All the effort she put into spending that little bit of time with me… meant the world to me. 

I thank God every day for giving me all the time and precious memories I had with my dearest Mamaw. As well as the year and half she got to spend with her great grand child, my son. I thank God for giving me that sign at the church in Damascus which recommended I spent more time with her. I’m thankful for the last moment and memory we had together. She was happy, dancing, singing and enjoying all of her family being with her. how much she adored the singing bear her baby boy had gotten for her. Her last “I love you more” to me, and smile, still fresh in my memory. I chose to not see her the day before she passed. I decided against it in fear of losing our special moment we had shared the time beofre; And I’m glad I did.  I’m thankful for being saved when I was. Had I not have been, losing her would be so much harder, possibly unbearable. After all I don’t just see her as my Mamaw, but my second mother. I don’t think I would be able to be as strong as I have been. You’re never ready to lose a loved one, but with God on your side it makes it a lot easier, a lot more peaceful. I am honored that I got to have her for a grandmother. She was truly a blessing to us all. 

Any family reading this remember she is in a better place, now home with God. Hold onto all that time God had granted you together. Remember all the beautiful memories and close times you shared. Dont mourn her death but celebrate her life because shes wouldn’t want you to be sad. She would want you to be happy, and filled with joy from the time you were able to share together. I pray that we all find peace during this extremely hard time in our lives. I pray that as a family we all become closer from this and lean on eachother for strength. I love you all! Stay strong! 

You never realize how much you truly love someone, miss someone or need someone until they are gone. I’ll never get the phone calls to just ask how I’m doing, how my son is doing, if I’m coming over Tuesday to hang out with her. Hugs i’ll never get again. Her signiture kisses on either side of my lips where she called “the sweet spots.” Her voice telling me “I love you more!” With my reply “I love you beyond words!” which she then reacts with a bright smile and wink. Moments that I will cherish for eternity. Until it is my time to meet her up there when we will be able to hold one another again, somewhere over that rainbow, where she waits patiently for me. 

   

 

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